Embracing Self-Worth and Setting Healthy Boundaries
Let's ditch that Superwoman cape! Trying to be perfect at everything is a recipe for burnout and will most certainly chip away at our self-worth. It's time to embrace your amazing, authentic self and create boundaries that protect your well-being.
The Myth of Perfection: Why letting go of unrealistic expectations is key.
Society and social media feed us this image of the "perfect" mum – always patient, her house spotless, her kids baking Pinterest-worthy snacks. But it’s false. Perfection isn't real, and chasing it only makes us feel inadequate.
Talking about the Pinterest-worthy snacks, for my daughters 3rd birthday I organised a Ben and Holly birthday party at our home, and invited several of her friends from nursery. I spent so much time crafting and creating a magical party; I made ladybirds out of babybel cheeses, toadstools out of marshmallow and strawberries and made labels to go with them. There were hats and streamers, a ‘find the elf’ trail. The kids were 3 and had no idea what was going on! The sure as hell didn’t appreciate the effort whilst screaming and running riot! They couldn’t even grasp the game of musical statues!
I realised later in the day, when putting my house back to some sense of order and after so much cleaning, that it wasn’t about the children, it was to impress the parents so that I wouldn’t feel so lonely at the school gate.
All I actually needed to to was have conservations and show up as myself. So let's focus on progress, not perfection. Embrace the messiness – it's proof you're a loving and involved mum.
The Power of "No": Learning to say no to protect your time and energy.
Saying "no" is an act of self-love and respect for your needs. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier with practice!
Here's how to say "no" with grace:
Be clear and direct: "Thank you for the opportunity, but I can't take that on right now."
Don't over-explain: A simple "no" is enough, you don't need to justify your decision.
Offer alternatives if possible: "I can't help organise the summer fete, but I'd be happy to donate some treats."
Self-Compassion over Self-Criticism: Changing your inner dialogue for greater self-kindness.
Would you speak to a friend the way you sometimes speak to yourself? Many of us have a harsh inner critic judging our every move. Let's practice self-compassion:
Challenge that inner critic: When you hear negative self-talk, ask yourself: "Is that true? Is it kind? Would I say this to my best friend?"
Reframe with compassion: Replace harsh judgments with understanding. "I made a mistake" becomes "I'm learning, and that's okay."
Prioritising Self-Care: Carving out non-negotiable "me time" without guilt.
Self-care isn't selfish.
Read that again and say it outloud: Self-care isn’t selfish.
In fact, it's essential! When you care for yourself, you have more to give to your family.
Start small: Self-care can be 10 minutes reading a book, a quiet bath, or simply a cup of coffee without interruptions.
Schedule it in: Treat "me time" like any other important appointment in your calendar.
Guilt-free zone: It's okay to prioritise your needs! A happy, healthy mom is the best gift for your kids.
I have a very strict morning routine because that’s the time I know I can fully give to myself. I get up earlier than my daughter, make coffee and spend time just sitting and being. Sometimes I read, journal and meditate but other times, I sit and stare out the window enjoying my coffee and these moments just for me.
Remember, you are worthy. Setting boundaries and embracing your imperfections is an act of love towards yourself and your family!